Bobbi knows that I now decide whether to go somewhere based on the geocache density of an area, so it was no surprise for her to see me doing a bit of research before I agreed to go. Luckily there were quite a few caches at Winnipeg Beach, and three of them were within walking distance of the cabin we were staying at.

After explaining the game, our friends Kyle and Scott decided to tag along. Click here to see a bird’s eye view of our caching trek (click Play at the bottom)

• Large (100 trinkets)
• Medium (50 trinkets)
• Small (10 trinkets)

You are trying to avoid using up many boxes, because you like to hug trees on your spare time, but also because it is a pain to package all this stuff. Specially when the tape gun seems to hold some sort of grudge against you.

What is the most convenient way to package and ship these trinkets?

[Pause]

[Cue: Your answer goes here]

These are the possible answers I came up with:

This rant was brought to you by the letter D. “D” is for dehydrated brain.

(Click to enlarge)

Notes:

• Out of the 11 days that I’ve slept somewhere else, Bobbi was with me 7. The other 4 I was on a business trip with Jason. He’s a nice guy and everything, but I’m not interested in him that way.
• I took the liberty of including today as a “Slept on my bed” day, based on how things are going as of 8:42 PM.
• This chart is only valid if you subscribe to the idea that you only sleep on the couch if you have been involved in a fight, and not because the temperature in the living room is lower (although that is why you should have computer equipment in the living room).
• If you’re reading this on a text-only device, here:
  grep -c “couch” /var/logs/sleep_location
  0

I’ve decided I’ll make a point of saying good things about Bobbi, for two reasons: a) because she’s awesome and b) because no one wants to be around people who belittle others.

So, on my first edition of Why I Married Bobbi, I bring to you the Bacon Alarm Clock.

If you know me, or follow me on Twitter, you know I like bacon. I loooove bacon. Don’t believe me? Twitter results for “from:angelcastaneda bacon”.

A few days after I commented I wanted to work on a bacon alarm clock, Bobbi came up with this piece of awesomeness:

Step 1: Wake up earlier than your bacon-eating spouse.

Step 2: Make bacon. Put it on a plate.

Step 3: Place cellphone right next to the bacon.

Step 4: Text the words “wakey wakey” to said cellphone.

Step 5: ???

Step 6: Profit!

And this, my friends, is why I married Bobbi.

Unfortunately, my apartment building does not allow pets, so I can’t have a pet beef, or pet bacon, but I can do the second best thing: Freeze it and consume it at a later time.

This is how I do it:

Step 1: Getting the beef is all about stealth

Bobbi makes fun of me for locating geocaches that require you to be stealthy. She says I can’t be stealthy, but I prove her wrong every day, by sneaking behind her as she dries her hair, and making cat noises. She jumps every time. It’s funny to watch, but for some reason she doesn’t laugh.

Anyway. You must get close to your target beef, without it noticing you. I usually do it by walking up, and pretending that I’m going to the produce area at Sobeys. That way, my target beef will think it’s safe. Ha! Silly beef! You should know better! Everyone knows my favorite vegetable is the glorious perogie, and that is down the frozen aisle section.

Once I have it in sight, I grab it and put it in my shopping cart.

Step 2: Pay for it

Okay. Unrelated topic here, but am I the only person that takes a long time doing the self-checkout at the grocery store? The answer, of course, is “no”. People take too long, so I get stuck behind them. Then it’s my turn, and the thing keeps telling me that I have removed an item from the bag (and I haven’t!) or that there is an unexpected item in the bagging area. This last issue seems to happen when I get vegetables. I know. I wasn’t expecting to get them, but Bobbi makes me eat them.

Once you’ve paid for it, you can bring it home.

Step 3: Packaging and freezing

Let’s get to the meat of this article. Ha ha ha! See what I did there?

First, I divide the meat in portions that will fit a large Ziploc bag. Then I pound the meat with my bare fists, until it’s about an inch thick.

Apparently I cannot take pictures and package beef at the same time

Using a chopstick as a rudimentary tool, I cut it up into nine portions (two horizontal and two vertical lines). I guess four portions would also work. Or twenty five. If you don’t care about uniformity, any number works.

Sudoku

This is what it looks like after I’m done:

I label the bag, so I don't confuse it with something else

At this point, I’m ready to freeze the meat.

The next day, I was craving cow, so I decided I would cook some. This is the part where you go and say “But Angel! If you want to cook beef, you must cook the whole package! Otherwise, it’s a pain to thaw only the portions you need”.

[Cue: Say that]

My answer to that, of course, would be: “Hey. Remember that time we cut up the beef into [9/16/25/36] portions?”. If you were to say that you didn’t, I would refer to to my article on freezing ground beef.

I then snapped the pieces I wanted to cook, as shown below.

This method only works for primate with opposable thumbs. Sorry, marmosets.

This nice pan was provided by @seanwalberg

And that’s it!

This is part one of my evil plan to convince Bobbi to portion/freeze everything we buy (other than milk), so then we can cook what we want at any time. Also, I want a gong, so I can replicate the Mongo’s experience.

I hope you enjoyed it, and make sure you wash your hands.

If you’re looking for someone to blame, here’s a link: Geolizardo.

I was happily trying to learn PGP and some other encryption stuff, when he mentioned he had this hobby that had involved decoding messages. He then started talking to someone about treasure hunting, pixie dust, Easter eggs, something something… None of this sounded interesting to me until he mentioned it was called geocaching.

I had heard of geocaching. I think it was Mr Corley who mentioned it to us in Geography, back in Grade 10. I didn’t show any interest because cool kids are NEVER interested in what teachers have to say, and as you all know, I was the coolest kid ever.

Still, the seed had been planted, and when Geolizardo brought this up, I decided I should bombard him with questions. He said he loved this. He talked about going on trips and finding stuff. He talked about travel bugs, geocoins, hidden messages, and the excitement of finding something after looking for it for quite a while.

What really got to me was him talking about this being a family activity. Months later, he commented on one of my blog posts, and shamelessly advertised his blog. I clicked on it, and read the cleverly named “Lizard Droppings“. One of the posts talked about earning the right to complain (good read) and showed a picture of Mitch and him picking up garbage while geocaching. That was uber cool. I wanted to do this, so I started doing more research.

Eventually, I narrowed down my GPS options to a few models. Scott helped me with seeing the differences between must haves, nice to haves, and OMGdoesitreallydothatLOL features.

I got my GPSr last week, and loaded the waypoints for geocaches around our place. There is one called “Nice rack” that’s not too far from home, so I asked Bobbi to meet me there with a flashlight and warm clothes. We looked for it, and eventually saw it (not telling you where!). Bobbi didn’t say much, but I thought she was thinking “Is that it?”. We signed the log, and left.

We looked for another one that’s in our building’s backyard, but couldn’t find it. We were cold, so we went home. That weekend, we went to Brandon, and found another one there. Bobbi did a great job at pinpointing the right tree, and I’m sure she would have found it if she had looked for another minute or so.

Monday night, Shawnssica helped me look after we had some great apple cider and sandwiches at The Fyxx. I found a tiny one, and Shawnssica(XX) found a pretty big one. Shawnssica(YX) was hooked, and the next day, he had found three or four caches.

Now, weird things have been happening. I took the “wrong” bus yesterday, so I could go searching for a cache about a kilometer west of my house. I walked the way back and didn’t even feel the cold. Oh, and that cache by our building? Found. At lunch time, I went and found a nano by work. I suddenly have the desire to be outside. Weird.

I understand why Geolizardo geocaches now.

If I get lost, or get frostbite, you know who to blame now. Thanks dude.

Tweets from the last year:

Based on this cloud, you’d think I’m a thankful Winnipegger who values his time, and is looking forward to his wedding.

Tweets from the last six months:

This guy is getting married in some time, and thinks bacon is awesome.

Tweets from the last three months:

There’s time to say thanks, and kids kinda  look like people.

Tweets from the last month:

Looks like this guy is getting married, and is going to eat food. Onomnomnom!

Tweets from last week:

This guy is now some lady’s husband, and is looking forward to Christmas. Sadly, bacon is no longer mentioned, but knives, spying and fear made it to the list…

Hmmm…

(PS: The knives tweet is about me slicing my fingernail while cooking. Spying is related to @THEWesMolebash secretly spying on Bobbi and I to draw inspiration for his comic. And the fear part is about Leon Fontaine’s comment about Fear and Faith asking you to believe in something you can’t see, and how you might as well choose Faith)

You want a visual?

Here:

(My vest is black though)

Moral of the story: Make sure you go get your tux ASAP.

I just wanted to mention that I’m very thankful for how life is right now. Those of you who are closer to us know that not everything is peachy, but still, I know I can count with so many things.

At the risk of sounding cliche, I truly am marrying my best friend. Not only is she beautiful, and lovely, but Bobbi is probably the funniest person I know. I can actually say I have fun with her, and that we can laugh and have a good time any time, and anywhere. It’s also reassuring to be with someone who is willing to work to get what she wants, and that inspires me to work even harder at becoming a great husband.

My family has been extremely supportive with the whole wedding thing. They have helped with everything they can, and it has taken a load off of me, knowing that other than having extra hands to help out, we have had their moral support. This is another example where money can only take you so far, and where time and love makes the difference.

Our friends have been great. They have volunteered to help with several different things, and have made me feel that they are on my team, and they believe in us. In a time when 50% of marriages end up in divorce, it’s good to have people that believe you will make it, but that are not afraid to tell you that it will take work, and that it won’t be easy.

Springs Church has been great to us. We get life giving messages every week, and all the pastors work hard all week, but they still have the time to sit with you, one on one, and help you out. I can’t express how thankful I am with Pastor Ernest. He has told us what we need to hear (not to be confused with what we *want* to hear).

There’s a lot of other people that I’m so thankful for. Seeing how there’s only three weeks to go, their support and friendship have made this journey more enjoyable. It’s silly, but even people that I’ve only known through Twitter are sending their best wishes.

Thanks yo